Logan Beckett Hawk

Today we had the first follow-up scan from our recent news. We have been thinking a lot about baby and being parents lately. At one point Erin had said "some parents just have to pick out names", whereas we've been faced with difficult discussions with doctors about our baby's neurological development. We have been keeping a positive attitude in anticipation that all is well, but knew that today might not yield as much information as we wanted. They did a 3-D scan today and repeated all the measurements and again, found no anomalies other than his dilated ventricles. So although the cause is still not known, we feel better knowing that his ventricles have not dilated further. In the next week we'll have an MRI to hopefully give a little more insight and then another scan to keep close tabs on baby's development. However, like all other parents we have been thinking about names : ) The list was long and interesting, but we have decided on Logan Beckett. It's a strong name and fits just right into our family.

~ Kevin, Erin, Logan and Dylan

22 weeks!

2hot2trot...

is what I call these photos - #1 because of my glamorous, stretchy top pants and #2 because of the olan mills 'esque backdrop that my love/photographer & I found while on a walk.

Here we are at 22 weeks - cruisin right along. Been feeling a bit bloated & notso great the past couple days ....not sure if it's something that I've eaten or what but my Maylox bottle is almost empty (GASP!) Other than that we're doing good :) Kevin finally felt baby kick! We can both see him movin around all the time too - he's got some pretty strong kicks ...wondering if he's workin on those soccer skills already?!

21 weeks!

21.5 weeks to be exact ;) We had an appointment with our midwife today - pretty pointless but we were able to hear the heartbeat again which made it worth it.

Salami and ice cream with a little scoop of peanut butter have moved on to the list of things that taste delicious (not together of course, although.....). Sleeping has started to become a little uncomfortable - Kevin keeps saying we should buy one of those massive pillows that wrap all around me but I'm gonna try work with the pillows I have at least until we get back to the states.

Baby is about 10 1/2 inches long - we're a carrot this week!

Lettin Loose!!!

I wore the bella band for the first time today! Such an amazing, simple piece of material - think it was the first time I left the house knowing that my pants were unbuttoned. I can still manage to button all my pants but I was getting my hair done and knew I would be sitting for awhile...might as well unbutton & let loose.

Still waiting for the day when a complete stranger notices my bump allowing me to blab on in a way that makes them wish they never noticed...haha. I was half expecting one of the salon ladies to notice my bump but they didn't :/ What I'd really enjoy is, on our flight home in November, if one of the flight attendents would notice how clearly uncomfortable me & baby are sitting in the wee little seats and offer to move all of us up to first class. I'll probably be disappointed when that doesn't happen ....Kevin tells me all the time that I live in a fantasy world.

Kevin comes home tomorrow :) I wonder if he'll think that me and baby have grown?

A first

I was sitting in the bath tub yesterday having a little chat with baby and he was kickin back with his answers and with two of the kicks I could actually see my stomach move!!! This means Kevin will be able to feel baby soon :)

My 21 week bump picture will be delayed until Tuesday because my love is in the US for a visit...and my attempts at a self timer pale in comparison.

Update

We had another scan in Newcastle yesterday to get a 2nd opinion. Unfortunately, this scan and this set of doctors agreed with the diagnoses of Ventriculomegaly - meaning in our babies brain the fluid chambers (ventricles) are dilated to 14-15mm. Normal fetal brains have a dilation of less than 10mm. One and a thousand babies are born with this condition. There are several possibilities for cause:

1. an infection
2. genetic syndrome
3. partial blockage to the flow of fluid out of the chambers
4. a generalized problem with the way the brain is developing
5. a chromosome problem

I have been tested for an infection just waiting for results. Kevin and I have declined to have the test done for a chromosome problem at this time as it's a fairly invasive procedure with some risk. There are no other tests that can be done to determine any of the other causes. And regardless of the results of the tests there will be nothing we can do for baby aside from prepare ourselves for when baby arrives. There is a 1 in 3 chance that baby will have neurodevelopmental problems - which leaves a 66% chance that baby will be born perfectly healthy.

We go back in 2 weeks for another scan and our plan is to monitor baby for the next month or so and then re-evaluate.

The past two days have been a blur mixed with such excitement going into our 20 week scan only to leave with heavy hearts & tear filled eyes. All everyone ever hopes for is a happy, healthy baby so when something pops up that might prevent that - I guess you could say it's every parents worst nightmare ...only it feels like it's happening too soon for us. We're still getting our heads around all the happiness and excitement that a baby brings it seems unfair to have that interrupted. One in a thousand....I just keep wondering why us :/ We are hanging on to the hope that we will be amongst the majority with this condition and baby will be born healthy. The unfortunate part to that is in the next 5 months we won't be as focused on the growth of my belly but moreso on the growth of our baby's brain ventricles.

Kevin & I are strong and optimistic. We've both faced our fair share of lifes lemons and have, with the love & support of each other and our friends and family, adapted & overcome. Thank you all for you thoughts and prayers - please continue them and we'll continue to post updates as we receive them.

Love you lots baby! Mommy & Daddy bought you some very handsome outfits yesterday :)

Proud Parents

baby's profile :)

The anxiety continued to mount as today, the day of our 20 week scan approached. We decided that we didn't want to keep the babies gender a secret, so today was the day all bets are settled. Erin thought boy, I thought girl. She wore a baby blue sweater and I, a pink Polo. As the sonographer moved the wand around Erin's belly she took some pictures, pointed out the hands and feet, the eyes and ears. Finally the ultrasound showed us downtown and there was the proof. Our little bump is a little boy!! Such great news, I've always hoped to have a son I could mold into a more brilliant soccer player than I was :)

Today's scan also gave us some other news. Baby had several measurements taken, some of his extremities and some on his internal developments, which is when we were told that baby had over dilated ventricles. We know babies grow at different rates, but what did this mean? The sonographer wouldn't answer any of our questions, instead she rushed us into another room and called the doctor in. His answers weren't that much better, but he gave us enough information we could do our own research online and he set us up with a specialist appointment in Newcastle. Thus far we have learned that ventriculomegaly is a common finding in 20 week ultrasounds and in short means there is more fluid around the brain than there should be. This could potentially affect our babies already sensitive nuerological development. We are here in Newcastle to find out why and what we can do. So far we understand there to be 2 possibilities. The fluid continues to build up or it stabilizes. Obviously we will do everything in our power to control and monitor the dilation and we ask all of you to do everything in your power to keep us in your thoughts and prayers. We will continue to post as more information becomes available.

20 weeks!

HALFWAY THERE!! Holy cow I can't believe. I have a feeling the 2nd half is going to feel a little longer than the first, but I'm considering myself lucky that I've made it to the half way point without even really noticing. No horrible sickness, no aches and pains, no stretch marks and I've just now dipped into my maternity clothes.

I've continued to feel baby rockin and rollin in my belly :) And I'm trying my best not to think about the fact there is only TWO MORE DAYS till we find out team pink or blue. Kevin still thinks girl and I think boy....mothers intuition?!

Starting at 20 weeks baby starts being measured from head to heel instead of crown to rump and he/she measures about 6 1/2 inches - about the size of a banana!!!

19 weeks!

Our baby has been growing for almost 5months now! Sometimes I'm baffled at how a human life can form and develop so intricately inside my belly...just amazes me.

I'm definitely convinced that the movements I've been feeling are baby - they feel exactly like what a baby kicking & flipping from the inside would feel like. Saturday morning I laid in bed after Kevin left for work and rubbed my stomach shortly after each rub there would be a thump in that general area!! I mean c'mon thats gotta be baby...gas bubbles just don't work like that. So thats exciting :) I tried again this morning to see if Kevin would be able to feel anything from the outside but no such luck - baby must have wanted to sleep in.

Kevin & I were talking the other day that my hormones haven't been all that bad (should I knock on wood??!). We both agreed that back when I would get my period I was a lot more irritable and moody. I guess you could say we are both cautiously waiting for the crazy lady to creep out and wreck havoc - maybe she'll never show, maybe this is just her silent start - Kevin will keep you updated with her progress I'm sure ;)

Baby is 6inches this week! About the size of a large Heirloom Tomato or a softball (for those, like me, that don't know what an heirloom tomato looks like)

Yummmm...

Current favs :)

**PB&J Sandwhiches ** Chocolate Fudge Brownie Frozen Yogurt ** Cereal & Milk ** Grapes ** Brownies

Up to the weight I was when we first found out I was pregnant! Might have to trade in the brownies and frozen yogurt for some green things to keep the weight gain reasonable.

or not....

18 weeks!!

Ahhh if only every week passed like this one. Venice was exactly what the doctor ordered. Croissants for breakfast, pizza for lunch & pasta for dinner combined with sunshine, sand & water :) I wore my new maternity jeans for the first time while in Venice - odd, wonderful and necessary all at the same time. Will I ever want to wear regular jeans again?!

Feeling myself these days which is nice. I haven't been napping as much although at the end of the day I'm usually pretty exhausted. I've been trying to keep up with exercising to help my energy levels so Kevin & I go for jogs a couple times a week and I was swimming as well but haven't recently...I plan to pick that back up especially as jogging might be a little more difficult as I get bigger. I occasionally feel ''movements'' in my belly - they all kinda feel different and are at random times - we're still not sure if it's baby or not.

Baby is about 5 1/2 inches long this week. We're up to a bell pepper.

to read more about our trip to Venice and to see more pictures check out our Cheers! blog