I told myself to prepare for it but I was in denial that it would actually happen - but it has. This is our first time experiencing an infant developing into a baby and then growing into a toddler exactly the way she should. EVERY SINGLE thing that she does pronounces something Logan doesn't do or can't do. And I find myself losing hope that Logan will eventually grow out of his delays & quirks. The simplest things that Reagan does, her instinctual knowledge and abilities, are not present in Logan. Logan does not have instinct. Imagine having to teach a child - literally teach & practice every single day something that a normal baby would just learn in a natural progression. It is beyond frustrating and beyond tiring and I want to give up.
Logan is baffling to me and I feel out of control.
Reagan has popped two molars out in less than 2 weeks so maybe that explains her fits - but for some reason I think that is just an excuse. She loves me so much that if I slip away to go to the bathroom (with the door open) she immediately starts crying wandering the house looking for me. She has an attitude and shows it, with colors. She clings to my legs and cries and throws herself on the floor and I do my best to ignore. But eventually the tears start to flow because after a day of extreme effort and patience testing with Logan all I need to put me over the edge is a few uncalledfor fits from Reagan. That isn't fair to Reagan and I know it.
Reagan is a normal baby going through phases, it's new to me and that makes me sad.
In a nutshell I feel out of control and sad.
I know I will find, in my own time, how to accept the hand we've been dealt but in the meantime I go day to day hoping for a good day.
Daddy's on travel this week but today was a good day.
We left the door openall day, watched it thunderstorm, let all the flies fly in and then "splatted!" them with the fly swatter and belly laughed.
Hoping for a good day tomorrow, Wednesday is therapy day, Thursday my BFF comes into town & Friday Daddy comes home - we'll make it :)
Logan was up before 6am Friday, Saturday & Sunday (have no idea whats going on with that). We've had an exhausting weekend to say the least but decided to make the most of it today. So during their morning naps we set up the backyard for a pool party and during their afternoon naps we had drinks in the sunshine :)
You best not be posing poolside little lady....
Running through the sprinkler with Daddy
In the pool watching Daddy cut the grass
Post nap cuddles
Post nap milk mustache
Taking a break from drinking milk to feed Logan
Hammock, cutoffs and baby legs: good end to the weekend
We officially have two emerging walkers, the word "no" is the most frequently heard word in our house, nap times are being re-figured, growth spurts are happening, patience is being tested, we are in full force therapy - we are in the thick of raising our babies.