Armed with an extra set of hands (Grandma's in town!) this past Sunday we drove an hour to take an hour ferry ride to spend the day at the beach on Block Island. We left at 8am and didn't return until 8pm - yowzer! BUT the babies did surprisingly well despite the long day of sand, sun, water & travel.
Every day Erin and I have been getting up between 5 and 6am and that includes weekends. Erin gets up because Reagan thinks it's a good time to eat and I get up because I'd better help with what I can before heading off to work. Once I leave, her day really begins. I'll usually get an email of her morning's progress and depending on that I'll do what I can to cheer her up or roll with it. Come the afternoon things are usually pretty hectic, so instead of an email, I'll get a call from her wandering the aisles of Target just to get the kiddos (and her) out of the house. By late afternoon things sometimes get down right pins and needles. I want so desperately to swoop down and save the day, but by the time I get home around 5 it's too late.
Occasionally I'll read people's comments on our blog when there's a post that Erin poured her heart out or got an overwhelming response from something funny. I just want to say how much I appreciate all the positive thoughts and praise each of you "blockers" (I just learned that word) give. It doesn't go un-noticed or un-appreciated the things all of you go through each and every day and sharing those experiences helps relieve her burden when I can't. I am entering a new chapter in life where I may not have the answers so it may not be best for me to try and swoop down to make it all better, so thank all of you for sharing. And thank you Erin most of all for everything you do. We have beautiful children. I love you : *
It's a daily struggle to remind myself not to compare Logan to what other 17-18month olds are doing. It's a struggle not to get down when I see 8 month olds doing more than Logan. And it's a weird reality to have to teach and constantly work on skills like how to get to a sitting position, how to get onto knees, how to get from knees to feet, how to open drawers and cupboards, how to climb steps...all the things that are instinctual to other babies, all things we thought we would be wishing wouldn't come so fast - yet here we are teaching him how to be curious and open up cupboards that should have locks on them and teaching him to climb steps that should have gates on them.
It's not just the physical things either - he doesn't seem to comprehend things the way he should. He knows who Mommy & Daddy are and will say Dada but we've been waiting for Daddy to get home from work everyday since he was born and he has yet to show excitement or any sort of acknowledgment that Daddy wasn't here but now he is, and Daddy's a fun guy definitely worthy of a little excitement!!! And just in the last 2 months has he started reaching for me. But he still doesn't say Mama and just like with Daddy he doesn't get excited to see me.
We try not to complain about it to anyone and it's not even a big topic between Kevin and I but sometimes it really gets to me & he may not show it like I do, but I know it gets to him sometimes too... Especially now that everyones emotions are a little more heightened with the lack of sleep a newborn brings.
Having 2 babies that require a lot of time & effort without much return would get the best of anyone now & again.
All of this was brought on because just recently we received our initial Birth to Three evaluation paperwork in the mail which outlines what was evaluated and how Logan performed. When he was evaluated at 15months he was scored at the skill level of a 5-8month old in 3 of 4 categories and the skill level of an 8-10month old in the last category. Kinda a tough pill to swallow.
Gotta take it all in stride and put aside what's considered normal and live in our little world where normal is celebrating little moments like this: a couple steps behind the walker without moms help :)
It's amazing the amount of guilt I feel these days not being able to spend as much quality time with Logan, not being able to put his glasses back on when he takes them off, not being able to work harder with him on the skills the therapist show us, having to rush putting him down for a nap .... all because right now the little miss requires so much of my time and energy. Time & energy Logan received when he was a little one and so must Reagan.
He has learned to play well by himself & with Dylan, he has motivated himself to pull up on the couch when I'm nursing Reagan just to be with me. And I'm pretty sure the bond between him and Kevin has increased 10 fold.
But recently in the mornings Reagan has been going back down to bed just as Logan is getting up which allows Logan & I to have our couple hours together just like we use to. We drink our coffee & milk and catch the beginning of the Today Show, eat breakfast, pass the ball and trucks (his new favorite thing to do), sometimes we fold laundry together and newly added to our morning routine - we brush our teeth together :)
The Good: He is standing in his crib The Bad: He is wailing & has been especially cranky today The Cute: Nothin cuter than the "Well Mommy aren't you going to come rescue me" look. ** Well of course my little love Mommy will rescue you just let me take a few more pictures **
You may have noticed in recent pictures a couple things with Logan 1. He hasn't had his glasses on 2. His hair is crazy Albert Einstein outta control
The scoop: 1. You try putting his glasses back on after he's taken them off for the billionth time while nursing a newborn. Simple as that. He hasn't been any better keeping them on and it's become more difficult to keep him distracted enough to keep them on or to drop everything to run and put them back on. We have a follow up eye appt at the end of the month, not sure what we'll discuss as far as options but keeping his glasses on is near impossible. 2. His hair has grown wings in the last month. Literally. Behind his ears it's curling up giving him the mad scientist look. Thinkin for his halfer he's getting a real first time hair cut.
And featured in the picture above you may notice Reagan's double chin.
The scoop: Plain and simple the girl eats like a champ. But it comes at a painful price folks. The mechanisms for sucking aren't quite clicking .... Actually quite the contrary - she clicks throughout the entire feeding (laughing at my lame breastfeeding play on words, lol) She clicks with the bottle, she clicks with the pacifer. She can't suck properly. Which brings me pain & her gas. I've been to a Lactation Consultant twice now and today we were given an appointment to see an Ear, Nose & Throat doctor to get a second opinion on a possible tongue tie situation. Appointment isn't until the end of the month - few more weeks of toe curling pain.
Spending $3 to buy enough carni tickets to take a trip down the Fun Slide.
Eating popsicles in diapers while watching the cars go by Sitting in the surf at beach Throwing organized naps & meal times into the wind for the weekend & just enjoying Oh Monday, you come so fast....