The days are long. The years are short.

Logan ( almost 4 1/2 years old)

We are weeks away from beginning what will no doubt be the most epic potty training event one has ever seen.  I'm afraid, I hate the thought of doing it and it's not going to be fun.  My only silver lining is that I put it off with Reagan for so long and then it ended up being so easy.  There is always that hope.

I wish I could describe 4 year old Logan in words. I will try.

He is growing up.  There are so many things that he is getting better at with age and yet so many more things that are becoming much more of an issue because he is almost 4 and a half and he's still doing/not doing certain things.


 He has a ton more words & will speak straight up sentences.  His best sentences are during play not during times of need.  He will not come up to you and say "May I have a drink please" or tell you he is thirsty. But he will come to you, with a car in hand and say "you be this one, I be this one" he will ask you to "get down from the chair and come play wif meeee" but he will not tell you he is cold or hot or if something hurts.  


He is so busy. I can't stress it enough.  Boys are active in general but ....  When Logan is sitting still, he is not still.  His body is in constant motion.  If he is sitting he is drumming the table or kicking his legs or shaking his head.  There is always a toy, hand, thumb in his mouth and he forever has a hand down his pants/diaper.  It's tiring to watch.  It's frustrating to parent.

Just recently his pediatrician recommended that Kevin & I and his teachers fill out the questionnaire/test for ADD. We did.  Without knowing the results on it yet- I know it's not good - I have that appointment with his doctor tomorrow.  

At times the guilt that I feel that we aren't doing enough whether it be for financial reasons or life preferences overwhelms me.  I often wonder if we could give Logan the world - everything & anything that would help him.  Would it make a difference?  

Reagan has started to pick up on a lot of what is going on with Logan and it makes my heart hurt.  It has not EVER been addressed, by me, to any child that Logan is different in any way.  But one day soon we will have to think of how that needs to be handled.  We are having to parent Reagan & Logan differently moreso now than ever and Reagan is recognizing that.  Olivia has asked Andrea why she doesn't get to go to therapy..... These are questions that I'm not prepared to answer because they need to be answered carefully.  But the way Reagan talks to Logan when she knows he can't do something makes my heart melt/break/cry in a good way. She is nurturing & loving and naive. She will have an amazing heart because of Logan and Logan will have an amazing heart because of her.  

Our future is so unknown and it's scary sometimes. Problems only get bigger and more real as babies grow up. 

• He hides nothing.  What you see is what you get.
• He seems to hate it but he lets me kiss him on the face now :) 
• He is SO incredibly handsome. 
• He likes to do whatever Reagan is doing. 
• LOVES fruit & milk.  
• Can turn anything into a speed bump.  
• Knows his colors - his favorite, depending on the day - is blue or black.  
• Loves to sing songs & dance. 
• Can use a fork & a spoon (FINALLY!!!!)!

This is Logan.  

Reagan (3years old)

Packed full of personality - she is constantly testing our book smarts of parenting.  She brings out the best & worst in me.  She is so emotionally charged & has no idea how to channel it.  She cries when she gets overwhelmed with happiness, she cries when shes mad, she cries ALL the time. I'm hoping as she gets older she will figure out how all those emotions work....but wait, she is a girl....



She is really into coloring and doing arts & crafts which makes her my heart explode with happiness!  Been waiting for her to sit down and ask me to color with her since before she was born!


She loves to build things - I give her blocks in her room at naps sometime and when I go up to get her she has built a castle that goes across the entire room.  She has an imagination that will make you question reality.  While we're driving she will blurt out "Mommy watch out for that Tiger in the road!!" & then she'll wave to it as we drive by and 9 outta 10 times I find myself looking back to see if ...maybe there really was a Tiger in the road


She tests her boundaries constantly & continues to be a sponge.  She will imitate you and repeat you like a parrot. My favorite moments are when she is playing Mommy to all her babies - she uses my words to her babies :) Those are the times I feel like the best mom in the world cause the only way she knows how to talk to her babies is by listening to me talk to my babies. :)

• Purple is her favorite color.
• Every time she falls asleep she thinks it's a new day
• Hence her confusion on what is breakfast, lunch and dinner
• Can pedal a two wheeled bike with training wheels
• Takes maybe 1 nap every week
• When asked what she wanted to be when she got bigger she said "a Mommy just like you" & then I cried.
• She likes a good salad
• She is funny & likes to be the center of attention

This is Reagan.

These are our children today.  Tomorrow their story will be different - that is a guarantee.